I dream of London
walking down its petite, winding streets,
surrounded by its many venerable buildings,
its mercurial sky above, my feet touching its ground
looking for you,
only you
...
I go to all the places you took me to
the dancing parade of carnival participants in Notting Hill
crossing Westminster bridge to the Big Ben
I let go of your hand to get a snapshot
you and me both admiring the architecture of London,
cathedrals, old and modern buildings reflected in the Thames
while you fill me in on the gaps in your life
I had missed all those years apart
strolling through your childhood neighborhood
along the fields of Finsbury Park
past the old railroad tracks
how light my feet and heart feel
here by your side
down the canals, taking a peak at the many houseboats
that also depict London;
these are my most beautiful memories
of time spent with a man.
I dream of us in London
together, connecting again
when I close my eyes and let myself surrender again
you are still here, love
...
such a harmonious surrender to love
between you and me,
this perfect symmetry of opposites
so beautifully matched, so intense
this dance of light and dark,
yin and yang
the wonder of the universe,
creation itself unfolding
right here in our hands
spilling over from
our love making and your buddhist prayers
under your slanted window,
and this dreamy, unpredictable London sky above us
as we catch the dust of the stars
and fall deeply into each other
with our hearts and bodies.
I dream of my sweet return to London
coming back to those petite, winding streets
so different from the city I call home
where we walked, hand in hand
never felt such belonging before with anyone
...
and the mere opportunity of catching
a glimpse of you in its streets
makes my heart leap with joy
the kind only you can bring on;
taking 91 to your street
familiar shops and that little park down the block
as I disembark the bus,
I wonder for a second, if I should have stayed away;
standing outside your house,
waiting for you...
maybe it rains a little
and I remember the pink umbrella I left with you.
I imagine the sun is there
for when you return home
the look on your face of surprise,
that beautiful smile on your face,
as you realize, I never left you
and the grace of a universe
full of miraculous possibilities
moves in you and I alike.
"There are three gates of liberation if you like, three cities much like the ones associated with the Goddess you have been named after that unites the chemistry experiment: the material, astral and causal. You get a chance to mix those together in your alembic and boom a wedding of chemical proportions is what we are looking at."
"By impulse, she looked above her. On the branches of the peppermint tree, birds had gathered. In the invisible spaces that she could see when she called herself back to the state she had been in at Helena’s house, she saw beings smiling to her. They had gathered around Kama and Lalita, wherever there was space. She could see their faces at the very back of the garden, where the star jasmine spread its stems. With the sound of the birds above and the earth vibrating underneath, she knew they all urged her to let go, to feel the earth and sky sing to her, to let her take in the glory of it all."
